A Intertwined Moment

Cooking, knitting, painting and other handicrafts depend on the dexterity displayed by a person. In doing so our hands and mind blend together to create something we desire. There is a big trend in society for the HOME MADE; where people revalue craftsmanship. Not only in traditional ways but also in the hyper industry of droids, lasers and 3d-printers. The latter one adapting the beauty of the handmade reinforced by a machine. We can now print and select our preferences to multiple objects. Whether we add a name to a postcard and print it out, or we use a template to design our favorite shoes or decide what applications we want on our smartphone. We can alter the objects in our environment  in a complete new way. To work with materials, to feel their structure; to have hands that express with precise fingers, all those hours of devotion. It's all focused energy in a process of creation.

Just like craftsmanship; a dimension of capacity, skill and touch, the world of Fetishism is a parallel universe. The important relationship between ourselves and the objects around us are visible everywhere. We connect so much to the material world that our place of refuge (our home), our way of transportation (car, train, bike), our way of clothing (new, second hand, haute couture), even the way how we communicate (email, text message, letters); everything is drenched in the way we relate to them. 'These shoes hurt so much but I must wear them" is a perfect example. How tied are we to these objects? How do we suffer under their fabric? Why do we need one thing and find another not interesting at all? The feelings they provide have become sensations. It seems like a new kind of voodoo, shamanism or occult is among us. And it's not just our surroundings we put on display; even our skin is a subject of expression. Tattoo art is everywhere and we elaborate our bodies with piercings and studs like never before. While we make a choice in what suits us best, they are busy deepening our relationship to a personal level. The object has become a fetish. We identify so much with a brand that we think it's part of who we are! Its tactility to provide a state of comfort or a state of exhilaration. Feathers, leather, spikes, fur and nails are added to clothes and design to arouse the senses. In contrast our connection with electrical devices have evolved to the invention of the touchscreen and inventions such as voice control. On this level it seems that even though the element of touch seems new to these devices, the freedom of touch is very limited. We hardly use more then one finger!

The Pony Performance combines the addressed subjects with refreshing elements from a landscape. Giving the viewer at first, a feast of colors, shapes and symbols to assimilate. From within the white and round stage we hear distant but menacing music. Once a My Little Pony item is selected, it's picked out of its toy herd to be examined, stroked, touched and sometimes even kissed. This takes place under the highest state of precision and care. Making it a very intimate sensation. Viewers fall silent as their behavior all of a sudden, stands out in relation to whats going on on stage and to one another. The horses are light and breezy, but being with so many (236 unique items at this stage) raises questions about their toy purpose and transmits a inward sensation. Making the viewer a voyeur. As if they are observing something that is hidden, from another time and space. For do we allow a grown up, bearded man to play with teenage girl toys? And is he engaged in role-playing as children do to examine their relationship with their surroundings or is he doing something completely different? Are they even toys?
The 90 minute duration of the Pony Performance might look like a endurance test for both the viewer and performer. But something rewarding and absurd is waiting at the end of the experience.

Urban Explores Festival 2013

"We leave something of ourselves behind

when we leave a place, we stay there, even though

we go away. And there are things in us that we can find

again only by going back there."

-Paul Mercier-

This Is Not

Television is not the truth! Television is a Goddamned amusement park! Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, side-show freaks, lion tamers and football players. We're in the boredom-killing business! So if you want the truth... Go to God! Go to your gurus! Go to yourselves! Because that's the only place you're ever going to find any real truth. But you people sit there, day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds... We're all you know. You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality, and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you! You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even -think- like the tube! This is mass madness, you maniacs! In God's name, you people are the real thing! 'WE' are the illusion!

This Is Not 1-4
Digital Collage

Pony Performance STOFF Fringe Fest

I Was Not Built To Break

Self-portrait feb 2013

The Place To Be

Bison sculpture at Cartesius lyceum Amsterdam was one of the Graduation works
for my BFA at Gerrit Rietveld 2012

When Are You Gonna Love Yourself ?

There is a secret visual langue that slowly sheds off its camouflage to reveal its presence. A brave new generation of film makers rises to tell different stories about the GBLT* community. We might still end up dead in the end or use great amounts of drugs, these clichés are still current but fortunately movie characters have (recently) developed to a much larger emotional scale than we've ever seen before. They don't wear high heels and don't die of AIDS all the time. For me that change came apparent with Jonah Markowitz's brilliant movie SHELTER.  A great surf movie about love, honor and commitment. Where it feels like the main characters incidentally are gay or dealing with their feelings towards a person of the same sex. Movies like WEEKEND (2011) and Keep The Lights On (2012) derive from that level and present to us a whole new intimacy between men. They fall in love, struggle, deal with their families and friends and fight. They both made a huge impact on me and I'm sure that no matter what your sexual preference is, they'll find a way to your heart and place something of impeccable value there. ENJOY

*abbreviation for the Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender community

A new age in cinema with the arrival of Keep The Lights On and WEEKEND

'Straight people like us as long as we conform to their set of rules. Why don't we shove it down their throats because they shove it down our throats all the time, being straight....straight story lines, everywhere, in books, on billboards, magazines, everywhere! But no we mustn't upset the straights. Shhhhh watch out, the straights are coming. Let's not upset them, let's hide in our little ghettos, let's not hold hands, let's not kiss in the street, no.' 

Glen in WEEKEND

Show Me Your Teeth

You appeared suddenly, soaring the sky screeching of hell and fire. Burning so bright that you'd left traces in the waters below.  Life fell silent. Observing the fierce energy you transmitted. Clouds took refuge. The heavens turned purple. I went back to the spot I saw you yesterday. But you were nowhere to be seen. Wild things shouldn't be tamed but savored for as long as they last.

It Will Make You Strong

No Title
Conté Crayons drawing on paper
52x36cm 2013

Disagreement is a rich source to bounce off new ideas. It's a force that cannot be contained nor grasped. The collision turns around old habits and thoughts, creating space for new things to arise. A opportunity to make visible what is essential. The storm is temporarily, almost like a side effect. Do not pay to much attention to it. The consequences on the other hand may last for a longer period of time.  And with every rearrangement we change, alter and learn. And even though I agree that peace and harmony are excellent states of being, I also state the importance of conflict and disagreement. Once we take in account the fact that we hardly understand life on this planet nor our purpose on it, we can look at our relationships with that same layer of ignorance. Do we not all believe in the 'Happily Ever After' syndrome and everything that deviates from that storyboard is in one way or another frowned upon. But if you (like i do) believe that life is eternal, there is no such thing as death; we come and we go. Our lives are like the flapping wings of a butterfly; moving air, space and time. 

Death is only a door. One closes and another opens * 
*Quote Sonmi-451 Cloud Atlas

That's all there is to it. You'll be surprised that whatever the outcome of your life will be, it's actually all GOOD! No matter what you've done, there is only love and the absence of love. Which is to say there is only love. Even in its absence, what is absence but something that might be present but what we just don't perceive at a particular moment? 

No Title
Conté Crayons drawing op paper 36x52cm 2013

Take these new drawings I've finished yesterday. They are the first works after my period at the Rietveld. So there is no interference by teachers, no feedback by students. But they do find their kick-start from a disagreeing energy. A confrontation that was in the making for weeks! And when it got addressed it exploded into my creativity. It might not make the people happy who are at the centre of this conflict but sometimes mud must be flown. So it can settle down again in different proportions. So we know all is good and full of love.

Fringe Fest Sweden 2012

'Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards'

Søren Kiekegaard

From Amsterdam to Stockholm

The new  year is among us for over a week now and I've just started looking back at the old one. The month of December tends to make people more reflective, appreciative and therefor sentimental? The sun sets and rises again, like all other days of the year. But the closer we get to the end of a certain calendar the more excitement we radiate into the air. Well, it did not happen to me. Nor did I create such a mood. That is to say not until I received a 'special' card. It sat on my desk for a week. Waiting for me to be ready for its message. And when I did open up to its content it mirrored the enormous scale of the previous year. Each shard had its own tale; it's own experience with a choice. Do I look back at it with feelings of joy or feelings of anger? There is no good or bad, its just a choice of preference. For I cannot recall a year that is packed with so many crossed boarders, creative struggles and adventurous celebrations at the same time! This Water Dragon year is top-notch!

One of the highlights is the participation of my 'Pony Performance' at STOFF Fringe Fest in Stockholm. And not just the performance nor the festival itself, but the actual journey towards Stockholm was magnificent! To drive up there in a camper van stacked with  over 200 toy horses, made possible with the financial support of many private funders who absolutely believed the necessity of this performance to be seen abroad was, well a dream come true! And to have access to other artists and see other performances, installations and exhibits was the icing on the cake. Have a look at the recap of the 2012 STOFF edition in the video above. The year of the Dragon will last only for another four weeks so make 'm count!

Nothing I Do Is Good Enough For You

Maybe I should have looked up what the term 'showcase' means. I arrived at the Old Church holding my painting 'the Coronation of the Shepherdess' firm to my side. People setting up their work everywhere. Adjusting lights and fighting with frames. As I found my spot I began to grasp the enormous amount of art that I was surrounded by. I wasn't impressed by what I saw. Maybe I'm used to being overwhelmed by art fairs. And the feeling they give me that escape is futile, an endless space filled with stalls that want  to impress. They drive me crazy! And here I was, one of them with a work to add to the list. I felt the exhibit was curated with a non cohesive order. But I couldn't stay in that set of mind for long so I corrected myself when I took a photo of the painting.  It was then when I realized She was in a Church! And not just any Church but the Old Church (1306) in Amsterdam in the centre of the Red Light district! To me that was a fantastic experience on itself. And for the first time with a work that does not so much overwhelm the viewer with details and impressions but a work that sits quietly to be discovered by the right set of eyes. I attached some additional information to the wall next to her and went home to warm up. December in a cold Dutch church is not a place where I'd like to be for long. I returned in the afternoon to spend some more time and chat with other artists.

Weird Is The New Normal

It's the time of year when life continues into a less visible state. When the trees bare no leafs. When the flowers and meadows have flourished and return to their source. In the back of my apartment building there is a huge courtyard paved with stones. Children used to play here but they have left. This summer I saw nature reclaiming its territory. Weeds slowly covering stone by stone. With no interference by any of the buildings occupants, it became a spectacle for my eyes. Within a year half of the courtyard has been taking over by all kinds of plants. I look at it with wonder for now all growth is subdued and retreats. But the best part is that I was able to catch a glimpse of its power at its peak! One moment, early in November when the last rays of autumn sunshine touches nature with hope for the new year...

JUSTIFY

It's good to make a lot of pictures
and to gather words of interest for
when you combine them they
create something NEW.

Welcome back again, I must say it feels nice and fresh to return to this blog. While I'am also aware of a certain distance. Something in the back of my mind is reminding me not to spill the milk... Let me therefor explain that my intention with this blog has changed a great deal. My years at the Rietveld have come to an end and I have nothing more to prove. For nowadays things just are or aren't present. The 5 years of DOGtime, that felt like a pressure cooker are slowly leaving my system. After the graduation show I needed to reboot my systems and I unplugged myself from everything that was tagged as art. It was ME literally saying; NO NO NO NO NO. It felt delicious. A liberation, a wave of possibilities and yet it was my choice to remain as silent as possible and not to make a single move. Maybe its my zodiac Cancer sign that makes the need to retreat such a valuable experience. Whatever it is that i'm hunting for I always find it, one way or another.

Cavemen experiment

My intention for this blog has always been a voyeuristic need to let people in on my process, my quest, my need to make and create. I think we should all stop every now and then to ask ourselves if we enjoy what we are doing? And if not, don't continue until it makes itself present. Once's intuition is a great gift but it whispers, so we have to empty our noisy lives to check on it. The next thing I would like to see is to change the banner of the blog, I'm fond of the words Work - Play - Thoughts but maybe they should be rearranged? Maybe by order of importance, then I would definitely start with PLAY! For all we ever do is play. It's the best remedy to every problem. Our brains, our worries and fears might want to overrule our pleasure but PLAY is the finger that releases all tension from the filled balloon. Don't let it get to you! We play as children to explore the world around us, to see relations and to exchange different points of view and as grownups we call it sport, music, art, sex and war. But its all the same really. So wherever you are while you read this, whoever you might be, go out and play! NOW....

Cavemen experiment