Friday, 30 December 2011

Are you behind schedule?

And I'd say 'no' because accepting there is a schedule would already place me somewhere along it's timeline, instantly relating me to others timeline and thus confronting me with a sense of good (going fast) and bad (going slow) while the truth is that everything is in time. I'm right where I should be. Working my way through the process of writing, collecting and abstracting from vast amounts of information those things that have a coherence with my aspirations for the thesis that has the work title:

The Order of the Order to Order the All That Is

So while I do my Jackrabbit research or I investigate mold making, there is a consistent vibration in my head that keeps on working on the thesis. It started spinning a united field that is replied to every corner of my mind. And it works its way out through my mouth and my hands. A big part in my thesis is reserved for art history in relation to the need for order. I'm connecting historical elements with artists, nature, landscape, city, buildings and personal passions.  Everything falls together seamlessly, now i have to write some more....

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Step to the front of the line

"Would you all be so kind and give way for Cranberry Muffin and Princess Dawn to step to the front of the line please. I repeat Cranberry Muffin and Princess Dawn, step to the front of the line."

I must admit that these additions spark up the already colorful stable of 210 horses that are ready to take the stage at Palais Paradiso in Feb 2012. So why add 2 more? Well the first one completes my collection of Sweetberry ponies, the second one rounds up my search for another Princess pony, the second series is now complete. Having them in a linear order they respectively represent DV24.6.6 and DV25.6.6 in the collection but most importantly the idea of having 212 participating items in the year 2012 makes a lot of sense to me. As a collectioneur I can be at peace with this formation for a while. I will keep them on my windowsill, separated from the others until they are united for the performance. They remind me of time passing by for it is only 2 more months...

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Sick of being sick

Sketch research 
'I'm not doing this shit anymore' was the dominant train of thoughts for me in November 2011. My passive aggressive state of mind came to a halt and was instantly replaced by a furious rage of anger. It hardly mattered where I was or what I was doing. I reached a place where something inside of me screamed ENOUGH! And when you feel you've had enough of something and you badly need a change of scenery; when you know you've reached the bottom of the pit and all that has been experienced has been building up inside of you, THAT is when the adrenaline kicks in! Right there, when you are launched like a rocket, roaring through the sky, accepting nothing around you that reminds you of the previous bullshit you drank like a milkshake. 'Shut up and get the hell out of my way' and oh dear how delicious the sensation of release is! Every cell is activated, every nerve receptive. And creativity flows through my veins; wild like a mountain river in spring when the sun transforms the snowy tops into vast amounts of water. While riding the waves I envisioned the location of the anger and I saw laboratory animals, sacrificed ritual animals and myself as part of nature (a part of all the animals) on mother earth. The boar, ram and bull but also rabbits, monkeys, cats and dogs. Kept in cages. Undergoing trials, tests; being measured and observed.  

Plaster experiment

But not the jackrabbit; not the hare, they are part of the family of Leporids (thesis material) and are the only ones who are adapted to the lack of physical protection. They have not been domesticated and simply die in captivity. They remain untamed...

Clay experiment
Fascination started, research on its way. First in sketching and understanding the form in 2d, later (up to this moment) to understand its physical presence. To make suffering visible. To give the viewer a sense of uneasiness. To get underneath the human flesh with the aching visual language of the wild gone tame, the sophisticated ruling out unwanted behaviour. Causing a mental poverty that results in death.

This landscape will undergo further exploration for it has rich resources.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Practiced Detachment

(*) 'I wanted you before we'd ever met, my self esteem demanded it. 
Then when you began to pursue me,  I wanted you so badly. 
It's the only time I've ever been controlled by my desire;
 single combat.' 

Dangerous Liaisons is a 1988 drama film starring Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keanu Reeves and Uma Thurman. I saw it for the first time last week and was taken aback by the power of the story, the lust & desire and the hunger for others misery. The film opens with the morning ritual of waking up the Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) and her partner the Vicomte de Valmont (John Malkovich) set in France around 1760. She has been forced to comply with the social rules of her gender at the time. And with the assistance of the finest teachers and scholars she tries to dominate the male species and avenge her own. This creates a complicated story where the viewer becomes an accomplice and is forced to sympathize for a wicked, sophisticated mind.

The still with Glen Close (*) comes from a scene when the game of conquest is underway and the Marquise sits down with her partner when he asks her to explain her skills. She sips her tea. Contemplating his reply and starts: 'When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe.' she tilts her head and continues: 'Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide.' She looks ahead of her in the distance and says: 'I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork into the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. It wasn't pleasure I was afer, it was knowledge. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelists to see what I could get away with, and in the end, I distilled everything to one wonderfully simple principle.' Her eyes blink and without fear or hesitation she looks him in the eye and continues: 'to win or die'

And after the Vicomte asks her about his role in this game of deceit she utters the words: ' I wanted you before we'd ever met....' (*) Adding to her earlier confession a sense of honesty and vulnerability. This evaporates quickly when a servant enters and she instantly is detached from all that was discussed.