When Are You Gonna Love Yourself ?

There is a secret visual langue that slowly sheds off its camouflage to reveal its presence. A brave new generation of film makers rises to tell different stories about the GBLT* community. We might still end up dead in the end or use great amounts of drugs, these clichés are still current but fortunately movie characters have (recently) developed to a much larger emotional scale than we've ever seen before. They don't wear high heels and don't die of AIDS all the time. For me that change came apparent with Jonah Markowitz's brilliant movie SHELTER.  A great surf movie about love, honor and commitment. Where it feels like the main characters incidentally are gay or dealing with their feelings towards a person of the same sex. Movies like WEEKEND (2011) and Keep The Lights On (2012) derive from that level and present to us a whole new intimacy between men. They fall in love, struggle, deal with their families and friends and fight. They both made a huge impact on me and I'm sure that no matter what your sexual preference is, they'll find a way to your heart and place something of impeccable value there. ENJOY

*abbreviation for the Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender community

A new age in cinema with the arrival of Keep The Lights On and WEEKEND

'Straight people like us as long as we conform to their set of rules. Why don't we shove it down their throats because they shove it down our throats all the time, being straight....straight story lines, everywhere, in books, on billboards, magazines, everywhere! But no we mustn't upset the straights. Shhhhh watch out, the straights are coming. Let's not upset them, let's hide in our little ghettos, let's not hold hands, let's not kiss in the street, no.' 

Glen in WEEKEND

Go to work

'Watch your thoughts for they become words.

 Watch your words for they become your actions. 

Watch your actions for they become habits. 

Watch your habits, for they become your character. 

And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny! 

What we think we become...'

Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady

Practiced Detachment

(*) 'I wanted you before we'd ever met, my self esteem demanded it. 
Then when you began to pursue me,  I wanted you so badly. 
It's the only time I've ever been controlled by my desire;
 single combat.' 

Dangerous Liaisons is a 1988 drama film starring Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keanu Reeves and Uma Thurman. I saw it for the first time last week and was taken aback by the power of the story, the lust & desire and the hunger for others misery. The film opens with the morning ritual of waking up the Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) and her partner the Vicomte de Valmont (John Malkovich) set in France around 1760. She has been forced to comply with the social rules of her gender at the time. And with the assistance of the finest teachers and scholars she tries to dominate the male species and avenge her own. This creates a complicated story where the viewer becomes an accomplice and is forced to sympathize for a wicked, sophisticated mind.


The still with Glen Close (*) comes from a scene when the game of conquest is underway and the Marquise sits down with her partner when he asks her to explain her skills. She sips her tea. Contemplating his reply and starts: 'When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe.' she tilts her head and continues: 'Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide.' She looks ahead of her in the distance and says: 'I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork into the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. It wasn't pleasure I was afer, it was knowledge. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelists to see what I could get away with, and in the end, I distilled everything to one wonderfully simple principle.' Her eyes blink and without fear or hesitation she looks him in the eye and continues: 'to win or die'


And after the Vicomte asks her about his role in this game of deceit she utters the words: ' I wanted you before we'd ever met....' (*) Adding to her earlier confession a sense of honesty and vulnerability. This evaporates quickly when a servant enters and she instantly is detached from all that was discussed. 

Things that connect

He whispers:"Why is it so dark?" She replies "In the beginning it is always dark." He looks at a tiny light that glows in the palm of her hand. He asks again:"What is that?" She whispers:"One grain of sand, that is all that remains of my vast empire." She looks up at him and sees him frown. "Everything has totally disappeared?" He asks her defeated. She sighs:"Yes". He continues:"Then everything has been in vain." Her face lights up as she says:"No, it hasn't. Fantasia can arise in you. In your dreams and wishes Bastian." He looks up at her in amazement and wonders "How?" She continues:"Open your hand" and she glides the glowing grain of sand into his palm. He looks bewildered into her eyes and she gently smiles while she says:"What are you going to wish for?" He stutters "I don't know." Her face turns sad and she says:"Than there will be no Fantasia, anymore." He frowns and wonders aloud:"How many wishes do I get?" With great pleasure she replies:"As many as you want, and the more wishes you make the more magnificent Fantasia will become." His eyes open wide:"REALLY?" She smiles and says:"Try it..." He takes a pause, looks at the glowing light and says:"Then my first wish is............"


Directed and co-written by Wolfgan Petersen the movie 'The Never Ending Story' was released in the Netherlands on 6 December 1984. Although I was 8 years old at the time I don't remember seeing the movie at the cinemas so I must have watched it a year later on television. And it still left a huge impression. I have returned to the film several times after that. Each time appreciating different aspects of it, like the fact that it's live action with (at the time) visually stunning imagery. The paste of the film is easy and characters get enough chance to develop a relation with the viewer. The story comes down to a boy who needs a friend but finds a world that needs a hero in a land beyond imagination. Viewing the movie in this age would be a very different experience. Early 80's fantasy films were dealing with myths and mystery much more than the current generation is served with. Films like 'The Dark Crystal' and "The Secret Of NIMH' and even "Xanadu" or "Brazil" all invite the viewer to explore vast amounts of landscapes within themselves. Never are they visually overruling the storyline. And whenever you return to these classics you will be given something new. So it was on my couch sunday night where I felt parts of my life that came crumbling down. Like a big earthquake that hit me straight in my stomach. All this change, these emotions, this pressure became a terrible Danse Du Macabre. And suddenly there was this single grain of light. At first I found it quite original, I thought I had invented it myself. But only today I realized that the image came from 26 years ago. So here it is. A very comforting, soothing scene from a lovely childhood memory.