I Can't Stand The Rain

This fourth day was a tricky one for me. It's edges were marked with thoughtless acts and impatient behavior. I guess the amount of work caught me off guard. All of a sudden my motivation dropped. I perceived advise and help from teachers as an attack, an intrusion. I was aware that a lot of things needed my attention. But that doesn't give people the right to point them out all the time. Give me a brake and have some faith will ya! But this is not the private domain of a studio, this is common Rietveld territory and all hands on board are determined to make it a success. My guiding system told me I was in troubled water. So I sighed, rolled my eyes made a few bitch comments and was left alone. Alone, except for Maartje. She proved to be a breath of fresh air that I was longing for. She took a bucket, started mixing the mortar and sat by my side. We nailed the column right there on the spot! I will not show you pictures of the result, for I don't like spoilers. You must come see it for yourself....in  4 days...

I Salute You For Your Courage

Working on the column for the Bison 

None of this would have happened if you didn't make me aware of my abilities and your keen ways to address my creative obstacles. Even in these moments of your absence, I feel you're presence like you are my blood. I'm grateful for all that you bring to my world. All these little bumps in the road, how they make way for the new canopy to grow. Everything continues, expands and adds up to this particular time and space. I'm working with the elements of a tiler, a sculptor, a photographer and through it all I sing, burn incense and dance as a performer. I hope my graduation delivers a visual language where the common ground for my projects is tangible. An invisible web that needs to be further explored! My graduation is in no way an end, it's a new beginning! 

Best take Advantage, Be All That You Can Be

Even though tools seem
 to be everywhere
we try to keep them together
 on two locations

We have become one crew, a crew that is ready! We moved out all our stuff from the KB Factory into the Gerrit Rietveld academy. We move around swiftly, just like ants. Empty a room, build up walls, cover the floor for protection and then we start painting. All according to a very detailed floor plan. This is happening at full speed, six DOGtime rooms at once. When we're done you'll not recognize them as classrooms anymore. But this is not just DOGtime at the first floor, the entire two buildings are buzzing with activities, students, teachers and lots of helping hands (family and friends) to make it all happen. All departments are represented at the graduation show; fashion, architecture,ceramics, audiovisual, design, glass, VAV and print & text. 


In previous years I was on the visitor side. You'll take a lot for granted there. Things that never cross your mind are actually very important to be hidden away from the guests awareness. It's all in good spirits and great fun. Iti is there to supply us with sandwiches and other solutions that our engines need to stay healthy. We talk, think and laugh our way through the day. I believe we are actually ahead of schedule, with this being the second day of work and almost everyone is ready to install beamers, dvd-players, lights and lots and lots of extension cords! But the technical story is a different story all together.

Fase one, connecting the screens
to make walls out of them

Are You ready for....

We are ready to go to Stockholm !

The video is online and that marks the kick-off for the promotion of the Pony Performance participation at STOFF in August 2012 Sweden! It is very exciting to be part of the voordekunst.nl platform. They were very helpful and broadened my perspective on crowd funding. Click on the link below to see the video on their site:
http://www.voordekunst.nl/vdk/project/view/486-pony-performance

Exhilarating Top Of The Mountain

Time Table Graduation Show 2012

Wednesday July 4th 16:00 - 20:00 Official Opening

Thursday July 5th 11:00 - 20:00 

Friday July 6th 11:00 - 20:00

Saturday July 7th 11:00 - 20:00 

Sunday July 8th 11:00 - 16:00 

with diploma ceremony from 16:00 - 20:00

DOGtime 1st foor

Gerrit Rietveld Academie

Frederik Roeskestraat 96

1076 ED Amsterdam

How Does It Feel

Logo of the crowd fund organization

Recording for the Dutch crowd funding organization Voordekunst has been wrapped up. It took me two full days to make a simple 2 minute video! I wrote a script, memorized the text but still, it did not come! Take after take. The light shifted, a plane flew over, a pony fell to the floor. It drove me mental because besides all these little errands my left eye got suddenly blood shed red! I felt like Quasimodo, fortunately time was such a pressure cooker that my mind had to stay in a 'I have to move on' mentality. The editing was the same story, the video was to elaborate with a running time towards three minutes while only two minutes are allowed. 'Kill Your Darlings' is what Ken Zeph told me at the first year of DOGtime Rietveld. 

Third take and what I just said still doesn't make sense!

Paradiso was cut out, an audio clip was shortened and the Pony's were not introduced. Rounding the video up and filling in the forms about promotional activities and budget responsibility I shot a quick glance at all the material I had shot during the days. Looking at the shots caused such a big grin that I instantly fell in love with the outtakes. They showed me incredible vulnerable and on a quest for something other than I was receiving! Very refreshing from my presentation at the Elevator Pitch a few weeks ago. It felt like I was caught up in circles. For so many other projects demand my attention right now. And yet this is the most thrilling time of all! Standing in front of the mirror in the morning with hair product on my toothbrush and toothpaste in my hair makes me laugh that THIS is the time of times! And that graduating is not enough, I'm off and rolling, doing what I love best; juggling with all the elements to lay out the foundation of my art practice. Evolve, expand, play, fight, struggle and love.

Lost for words

Longing For Perfection

Krüller-Müller Museum in Otterlo honors the departure of their director Evert van Straaten with a review of art acquired by the museum under his directorship, together with masterpieces from the permanent collection. The atmosphere of the museum collection is shaped by works of art in which the longing for a better world or for paradise is embedded. At the same time it shows the human struggle with 'the perfect form' and the tragedy of the human condition. Twin concepts such as nature and culture, imagination and knowledge or destruction and construction are found in the presentation in all sorts of ways. Together with five fellow graduating classmates I travelled to Otterlo for a day to be amazed by the building and the collection.

Cai Guo-Qiang
Inopportune: Stage Two from 2004

In his monumental installation Inopportune: Stage Two from Cai Gou-Qiang we see nine life-sized replicas of tigers shot with arrows and a decorative element in the form of a mountain and a tree. Standing and floating all around you in the enormous exhibition room, they seem to be frozen in time. Visitors can easily view them from all sorts of angles. Together with the dramatic lighting they become very theatrical. We all responded differently to the work. Making it our first exchange to discuss and question the intentions of the artist and his presentation. For Jeannette they did not represent real tigers and Claudia wasn't happy about the violence on display. I couldn't get over the fact that they reminded me of the Salvador Dali tigers linking their pose and attack to a surreal experience. We moved on, feeling that I could spend an entire day with them losing track of time and space if I stayed there. Up next were Jeff Wall, Jan Fabre, Gilbert & George and Joep van Lieshout. It wasn't until I saw the Hurt Models by Christiaan Bastiaans that I stopped again and thought: What is this....

Christaan Bastiaans
Hurt Models 

Extremely rich in details, made with different fabrics and posing in various postures, Hurt Models gave the impression of theatrical costumes while others resembled iconic figures. Looking at the tallest figure in the installation, dressed in golden robes and a red velvet pillow as a face, she reminded me of the Blessed Virgin. And I had the overwhelming sensation that I'd discovered something that the other visitors were not seeing. For she was standing in a corner, surrounded by others, hard to make out. And although the hanging sculptures are inspired by clothing worn by rebels in conflict areas they resonate a harmony and beauty that shows a hint of life seeping through destruction.  


The exhibit continued with works of Van Gogh, Mondriaan and Anselm Kiefer, I got reminded that this part of the building always seems to have less oxygen. The further I go, the more I get stuck in that 'room after room filled with art' situation that I no longer can perceive the works. Thank God for light at the end of the tunnel with Bruce Nauman's 'BRRRR' installation. Together with Claudia we were transfixed on his video's, what a relieve! Only to see that most visitors couldn't stay there for more than 5 seconds made us laugh out loud. We loved the emotional charge of the obsessive, hallucinative shaking of his head.

Longing For Perfection
Audiovisual artworks

The real treat, the cherry on top was the tent complex on the activity area in the sculpture garden! In nine separate spaces, you can emerge yourself with the works of Christiaan Bastiaans, Willie Doherty and Jan van de Pavert. This is the reason why I need to return to the Krüller-Müller museum. These audiovisual works take time to experience and there are some I must see again! When I heard my name I knew the spell was over and we had to rush back to reality for the museum was closing. A wonderful day with fellow artists; discussing, laughing and recharging our inspiration! We must do it again...thank you so much Claudia, Paula, Anneke and Jeannette! X

Were You Hare When I Was Fox?

Bison frame complete with head and legs.
For a sense of scale you see that he stands on two tables, with a pen
and a piece of paper to his right.   

I alter my attention to the Bison who arises out of wire and wood. He appears with his own personality. I put my hands at work while my mind is reduced to a minimal. An overall intuitive feeling takes over. One that is not afraid to reconsider posture or proportion. One that alters the frame for a better distribution of weight, to make way for a new tension. Working on this scale demands a flexible approach on all fronts. Maybe that explains why working on this Bison feels so refreshing. Even this project has a fundamental reflective connection like all other work. It seems inevitable. So I might as well use it full force! Placing him on a table added another layer, in some sense even a more Biblical approach, like the Golden Calf. With three more weeks to go I know I'll be spending lots of time with him...

To The Eyes Of The Man Of Imagination, Nature Is Imagination Itself

Manel explains the division of exhibit space

The architectural drawing of the first floor at Rietveld was brought up to us by Manel. The DOGtime part for the final exhibit is unlike previous years, it will be on the first instead of the third floor in the beautiful main building! Therefore making it very accessible, most people will get their first impression from the graduates of 2012 there. When he clarified the floor plan, dividing students in gallery spaces, I felt my knee being kicked from across the table by someones feet. Only to reveal Claudia who was sitting there with a bright smile and her thumbs up. It was then that I realized what Manel had said, i had the left wing all to myself! No shared space, just the unique opportunity to show my work in a room that is flooded by light and looks over gorgeous lush trees. It gave me a little premonition of a zenith yet to come.

I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know

'Just a ordinary portrait shoot' I repeated to myself while I biked to the studio of Rene Bosch for the catalogue of DOGtime. Standing there surrounded by professional lighting I became a bit serious. I  wanted a flirtatious relation with the camera in combination with a high energy sparkle. Yeah right. It worked out okay, this is the image that will be send into the world as Dennis Verbeke one of the graduating fine art students of Gerrit Rietveld 2012. That thought didn't help me. And the lack of any other inspirational quote made me surrender to whatever happened. The rest of the portraits are very different in comparison to last years class. To Rene it became clear that we were a group of individuals. All unique and with a own style. 

This was emphasized by the Elevator Pitch last friday where the mentors expressed that it would be difficult so summarize this year in text. They wondered if the visitors of the final exhibit next month would get a overall feeling of DOGtime. It made me think of myself while I listened to one of my playlists on iTunes. We connect sound with images in music videos so what would I look like if I had to select nine clips? What would content, and lyrics wise match with myself, my dreams my mirror? I started searching, YouTube is a endless resource of information. These are the nine tracks that I think represent me the best. If you would have to chose, which nine ones would you pick?

Self Portrait in music videos 2012

Elevator Pitch...SO WHAT?

Elevator button at studio Papenbroeksteeg Amsterdam

Artists are storytellers... SO WHAT? Whatever your creative endeavor, you have to be able to tell the story of your personal brand, and describe your artistic vision, if you want to make a difference. SO WHAT? Today the DOGtime 5th year will give their elevator pitch. What do I want to talk about? What can I do for others? What is it that I hope to do? Questions that will be featured in my pitch: what is it about me, what matters most and what do I bring to the 'art' table? These questions are followed by a SO WHAT...just to pinpoint the exact energy that should be received. I will go and try to build a relationship with the audience, I have nothing written down from A to B. I will go with the flow. Just a few words that grasp who I am and what I like to do. It starts with a 'did you know...' spoken in a rather soft tone of voice and then alters quickly by me screaming to the audience.

'Ambition is not what a man would do,

 but what a man does,  for ambition without action is fantasy' 

Bryant H. McGill

YES, I really am going to scream to the government committed jury, the teachers and students! For it reflects my energy, my need for more and my struggles. I hope I'll keep my nerves under control. Because a loud mouth should be backed up by actions, composure, body language and shift back to a more comfortable way of telling my story. Diversification is key to express what I want to show in this 5 minute opportunity with a CEO. But most of all I would like to transfer a sense of energy instead of a rational train of thoughts.

To Roam With The Buffalo

Strength.    Courage.     Prosperity.     Challenge.     Survival.      Gratitude.

Me working on the frame
at KB FABRIEK

These, and many more, are words that the American Bison has come to symbolize. For hundreds of years the Native Americans of the Great Plains relied on the bison for food, clothing and to get them through the harsh winters. The bison became a symbol of many things for the people who depended upon them. The large head symbolizes an intelligence of a higher order and their strong bodies ground them, connecting them to the earth. I'm very interested in the White American Bison, or also called The White Buffalo. When the White Buffalo comes into our awareness (dreams, vision or even while hiking) it is a huge sign of promise, and great prosperity is soon to come after sighting this regal creature.

"With the return of the White Buffalo it is a sign that prayers are being heard, that the sacred pipe is being honored, and that the promises of prophecy are being fulfilled. White Buffalo signals a time of abundance and plenty"

Sams & Carson, Medicine cards.

Preparing the wire mesh to be attached to the frame

Since my Hare research last november there was a similar interest in herds of cattle. My first preliminary design was based on a real cow giving birth to her calf, while she fell through her hoofs on the ground. With the calf being dragged behind her this image is very unsettling and disturbing and NOT AT ALL in line with my current state of mind. I do not know why, where and how but all of a sudden  I was fascinated with the American Bison. Maybe it is connected with the reason why my head was in doubt a lot for the last couple of weeks. I wasn't grateful for my talent, I did not respect my work as a artist and most of all I ignored all needs for expression. This  passive state vanished as soon as my mind got hold of the Bison idea. My research really began with the dolphin realization. And it spread through my cells contaminating all further research. Now I find myself listening to sound tapes, video reports dozens of pictures of Bisons and have requested Royal Amsterdam Zoo Artist for a day with the Bison keepers! I simply must know, feel and honor the animal during the exam in July. Because I hope its presence and effect will be felt by others....

The Beginning Of The End

Recently my mind has begun to ponder the idea if I truly am as free as I think I'am. Reason for this train of thoughts is a article that compared the human brain with that of a dolphins brain. Apparently new MRI scans show that dolphin brains are four to five times larger for their body size compared to other animals with a similar size. They discovered that the neocortex - the part of the brain that is involved in high-order thinking and processing of emotional information - is even thicker in dolphins than in humans! This means that they rely on their emotional state of being more than we do. If we look at their communication skills,  their complex forms of play or even their use of tools we must accept that they are a very high intelligent form of life, just like us. It sounds so simple to say 'Yes they are intelligent, they adapted to  water and we to land' but it implies much more. It came to my mind that they do not have jobs, they all enjoy sexual activities with members of the opposite AND the same sex without social discrimination and there is no record of a dolphin attacking a human being! Now I ask you, who is more intelligent? Did they have a Christ Dolphin? Who knows... but collecting more and more discoveries from this species I realized how humans  are influenced by our upbringing and surrounding: our parents and teachers and presidents and doctors and priests and television-sets  and newspapers and magazines. The whole lot! And yet the one remaining question still stands: What is the meaning of life? 

'All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it'

Samuel Butler


Conclusion: what is freedom and am I really happy about it all? I enjoy the material world a lot. But do I need everything that is available? We need and we want, more, faster, harder and cleaner. Not so much for the other person to be happy with it NO WE MUST HAVE IT OURSELF! That is kind of strange and I believe old fashioned. We live in a world filled with abundance and yet in Holland we are told that we have a crisis. But I see no crisis, on a sunny day the terraces are full, when its cold we put on the heating. And yet our government needs more money to save the economy so that there won't be a financial disaster as in Greece. Wait a second, but you just told me we had a crisis and now we must pay to prevent the crisis before it becomes worst? Anyone with a sane set of brains knows that something else is going down the drain. What can you do about it? I'd go out for a swim, hunt some fishes and have fun with my fellow dolphin friends.... THINK ABOUT IT!